Sunday

Why is it that after someone has left, after a conversation, you then think of other/better/more questions that would have been good to ask or say?

Hardly slept at all last night, two hours of sleep and I have to go to work :(

He contradicted himself whilst talking to me ... said at first that reading my blog didn't upset him, then later said that it did upset him and make him worried for me. He again asked me to take down my blog, by the end relented and asked that I not post for a week... seems like the same old thing, just like right in the beginning - he can't control her behaviour so he seeks to control mine as an underhand way of controlling her.

Of course the big problem isn't that she reads my site, the big problem is, as they both said, that she cannot/does not trust him. If that wasn't there it wouldn't matter what I wrote about. And it's not just me that she doesn't trust him about. Just like he said alllll that time ago - even if I was out of his life completely he believed she would find something/someone else to be suspicious about, seems he was right.

He still wants to be my friend .. like at the beginning, and still after all this time had thought that she would come around and accept that; but after more than two years of seeing each other that point has not yet come. Another reason he hasn't tried to be my friend (come round, visit, chat), he said, is that he thinks it will make me think he wants to come back; but he didn't bother asking me whether that was something I would think, or wanted.

When he said that he wouldn't ask to come back because that was not what he wanted, I'm not sure I believed him because of his body language when he said it. My intuition zoned in on it very strongly.

There are still things that he cannot tell her, discussions he cannot have with her.

For her part she said they don't fight a lot, but going by the two conversations, and stuff I already knew, it seems the frequency is still every two to three months, I call that a lot.

She wanted to know whether I would take him back if he asked - there is only one person who deserves an answer to that question.