Why Is It...

... that some people just don't seem capable of saying 'Thankyou', particularly when someone does something that they didn't have to do? Funny though, that they are often the same people who complain that they don't have it said to them sufficiently! Funny ... not.

Sometimes I think I'm too courteous, too gracious, too free with my Thankyou's; but to me that seems harsh and 'hard' - hmm I'm obviously still having problems trying to change my underlying 'good' nature. When I find myself thinking that way I take it as a sign that I'm getting concerned about being used again .... and that it's time to 'harden' up so as to protect myself. Still doubting that my 'self' is a good way to be, still finding that being my 'self' only opens me up to being taken advantage of and, thereby, being hurt.

How do I make my self disappear?

Jury Service Prologue ...
It was a strange feeling on Wednesday night, knowing that someone was at home eating dinner, maybe watching TV with loved ones all due, in part, to me. Strange feeling.