Why was his body language so vastly different at the point at which he said what was probably supposed to be hte most important thing he had to say to me - that he didn't want to come back?

It shouldn't matter whether I would have him back or not - if they are unhappy together they should just part, not because he can come back here, not because of whether or not he wants to come back here, but because they are unhappy/it isn't working - which is what they both said is hte case. Leaving one person to be with another is not, in my opinion, the best way to leave another; it shows that you were unhappy and just waited until something better came along; that's unfair to have continued on. I know, I've done it myself (although the circumstances were fairly different in that I had already told my ex husband years prior to my indiscretions that I did not love him anymore - I didn't wait for someone else to come along before I did that). He hoped that given time she would change, but she hasn't. I guess she hoped in time that she would come to trust him, but she hasn't/he still isn't as honest with her as she needs him to be. They're both tired of the fighting; so why not say 'ok we gave it our best shot but it didn't work', and leave it at that? I certainly call 2.5 years having given it a good shot.

After 1.5 hours sleep on the couch I now can't sleep again . I'm thinking how silly of me to have let the sympathetic, compassionate Noala stick her head up and let them talk to me ... that I was too soft, not thinking enough of my own well-being and how it would be likely to affect me. I should have just told her to leave, and declined his plea to let him come talk to me. Stupid Stupid me.