Blog Visits

Why so many visits back to my blog I wonder?

Why would she be coming back again and again? Is she 'testing' him - said she doesn't want him around just to see if he 'comes back' (that's what she has expected of him in the past); and if he doesn't she'll say he can come back to her? Sheeesh I don't like the sound of that, that's not fair on a person to play them like that. And goodness only knows how much time frame you put on that too (how long does she wait?). Means, to me, that she didn't say it to him/decide it simply because it wasn't working either I would think. If that's what she's doing then, it would seem, that she has said it because she thinks he wants to come back here, not just because their relationship isn't working :(

Or maybe she has taken him back and is still checking up on him, via my blog? Sheesh if that's the case then she's still suspicious of him which, to me - and confirmed by what they've said to me - is the whole problem anyway, and that means that hasn't been 'fixed'. If that hasn't gone away then I really don't see that anything will change.

And what if it's him? No doubt looking to see what lies and falsehoods I'm trying to push down her throat, as he thinks I do. Well, I'm not sorry to disappoint him if that's what he's looking for, he wont find them in my blog. He'll find what's usually here - my trying to figure out the things that puzzle me, trying to work out the things that don't seem to make any sense, trying to work out myself for myself.



The thing about the loan is still turning over in my mind and the car finance thing (which he mentioned in his e-mail the other week, for the first time in quite a long time). Referring back to an email from November last year he said:

"I am a bit worried about becoming liable for the car repayments if you dont get the contract changed with the finance company."

He knew I was the one with the most assets (as had always been the case) and that the finance company would be far more likely to come after me to recoup monies rather than him. And our legal agreement didn't say anything about me having to get the contract with the finance company changed into my name only, only that I was to make payments as they were due.

Maybe he felt I hadn't done the 'right thing' in regards to the car finance - but I had done what the Deed said I was required to do, so how does that follow? All I have asked him to do is what he said he would do in the Deed.

Now he says:
'These past months I have been trying to treat you with respect and honour our agreement, I have been performing the points redemptions as quickly as possible and paying the loan repayments as quickly as I possibly could. In return I had hoped that you would treat me the same but you have sunk far to low even for that."

But by performing the points redemptions, and making the payments, all he was doing was what he had agreed to do. He seems to think that because he had been doing what he agreed to in the Deed, that I should think differently about him/towards him (friendlier maybe, was he doing it because he wanted to show that he wanted to be friends??); ie he wasn't doing it because it was simply what he should do (because it was what he had agreed to do)? that he was doing it only dependant on us being friendly? That certainly wasn't in the Deed.

"And your response to my efforts to honour our agreement..."; I'm supposed to respond to him meeting his responsibilites? Huh? Does the bank write and thank me or congratulate me for making my mortgage payments (which are always on time, unlike his payments)? No, I don't think so. To me, I consider that under the Deed we have the same relationship as a bank and loan client. To me, he should just be making the payments and redeeming the points because that's what the Deed says, not because of how it might make me feel about him, not to try make me feel a particular way about him. He shouldn't be doing those thing to 'get' a response out of me. I did/did not do what I had to under the Deed - sold him my share of the business, did not contact or solicit clients, did not become a director, principal etc etc. Those are the things I said/agreed I would do in the Deed and I did them, regardless of whether we were being friendly (which was obviously not the case a fair amount of the time), not for any 'thanks' from him, but because it's what I said/promised I would do; I met my end of the bargain, why will he not meet his? Shows how much import he puts in even legal promises.

Silly me though, I really shouldn't put so much brain time into the comments he made in the e-mail and voicemails, it's just an emotionally charged lashing out, like I've experienced so many times before. Just beating up on myself I guess, cos I really wanted him to get his finance elsewhere (because of what I knew about his attitude towards debt) and feel I should have perhaps pushed him harder to do so. And so I learn again that there's no point in being 'nice' to him, but then again I didn't do it to be nice to him anyway, I did it to get myself out of an unworkable situation.