Bugs

Didn't find many dead bugs to pick up :(, either they've already been eaten or htey've run away to die (I saw 6 or 7 staggering around after the guy had been). A sad death, that I hadn't thought about, was the hoppy spider that only appeared about two weeks ago, found him dead on the bedroom floor :( Guess the spray has to be pretty indescrimanate. Oh well, I wont miss the roaches, pantry moths et al.



Wish this other shit would get out of my mind, keeps on turning around in my brain even when working in the garden :( Where would his business (rofl, wasn't just his business when I met him, someone else was the money person then) be if it hadn't been for me? Firstly he wouldn't have been able to expand in the way he wanted, to make the business more than what it was (and it would have been well dead by now if it had remained only that - the previous business partner wasn't interested in providing funds for the expansion) - I provided the funds for that.

Secondly, if he had done everything the same that we did, but by himself, he would be bankrupt - it wasn't him who borrowed the money to make the bank go away. And why were we in that position? - because of one of his ideas (I'm not saying I'm not to blame for that too, I went along with it). So yeah, I know *exactly* where *his* business would be right now if it were not for me, dead or dead. Maybe he would have found a different partner, but he didn't (there was someone else around with the money at the time, but he chose not to go that way).

So did he achieve what he achieved through all his own efforts, as he purports? I don't think so!

So when he says that I rode apon (sic) his coattails, I know that's not true. I didn't join the business/he didn't invite me into the business cos I had great/lots of ideas, that wasn't my role. He wanted/needed someone to do the admin and support stuff and provide money, so he could play and do the stuff he liked/wanted to do. Yes he worked hard at times, but so did I, and put a lot more up at stake than he did. Aaacckkk, back into the same old things he used to bring up ages ago, this stuff really is ancient history - why can't he let it go? Bah, I shouldn't bother, I know when he looks at it/is reminded of his statements at a later, calmer time he will again say he knew it wasn't true and that he was just trying to hurt me/lash out.