Return to Maslow (again)

oh yeah, well and truly back at level one.


Why the continuing visits I wonder. Is she 'checking up' on him to see if she was right to tell him to go, or has she relented (yet again) but still checking up on him to see if he contacts me , or maybe she's just going over history



I've been wondering lately about my need to write, and why I'm still writing, after all this time. Other times when I've been in crisis and written a journal it's only lasted a few months, but here I am still writing about this 2.5 years after it all began. Guess it's an indication that I've not 'moved on' (that's no revelation), that it's all still important somehow to me - otherwise why would my brain give it all so much time? Maybe it's just because it keeps continuing, it's not over yet, so I can't forget it, am not 'out' of it yet. Maybe that's another reason (ie other than Maslow) that I can't 'move on'. Him and his actions don't make it any easier for me to try forget, quite the opposite. Even just the fact of the irregularity of his payments keeps it fresh in my mind. Why can't it just be done automatically, like he said at the beginning he would organise, and have it just happen. No, he has to make it personal (his comment re "in return for making payments" - ie it is personal). And now of course threaten to not pay at all, which of course makes it at the very forefront of my mind (see Maslow).

And of course I wonder/worry about how he is, if he has someone to talk to (not that he's really good at talking), has he started sleeping and able to work.

Is there a doctor in the house? I need that cardio/lobotomy.