Why does he seek to blame me for her decision? Doesn't he think she's capable of making her own decision? She didn't appear to be hyper-emotional when she and I were trading e-mails, and it was over a week and a half after the fight, so it wasn't something she said 'off the cuff' during a fight. He said that she's 'quite bright', so why doesn't he think she can make a decision by herself?

I've been thinking more about my stand that it's important for the decision maker to make the right decision 'for themselves', and wondering whether I only say that because he made a decision (told me he was staying), then, after visiting her, told me he was leaving; it seemed to me that it was not *his* decision, and I really felt that was wrong, and that it wasn't *him* who had made the decision. But no, that event isn't what makes me say that they have to decide for themselves, because that was my view during the time that I knew he was trying to decide (whether to stay or go) - which was obviously before the 'I'm staying' then 'I'm leaving' episode.


What does he think the threat of not repaying the loan will achieve? I guess it's the only thing he feels he has left that gives him control over me.