Thankyou

To Nic and Telafree for your prescriptions. I might get to follow the doctors orders on hmmm maybe Sunday night (as it's a long weekend here this weekend) .... though P and I have to have a serious discussion with the kids on Monday. Hmmmm.

So methinks I'll have to skip the wine, tv/vid (there's no tv in my bedroom), book (I haven't read an entire book in over two years) ... in with the chips and maybe I'll take the kids CD player upstairs and put some classical stuff on (haven't listened to the radio or current music for over two years either- other than the 5 minutes when the alarm goes in the morning).

Then again maybe it will have to wait until the following weekend - even though I tell them it's not about them, I know that on the few occassions that I've taken 'alone' time when they're here that the kids think it's cos of something they've done ... and with the serious discussion to occur on Monday that will seem to be the case to them. And even if they don't think I need to be alone cos of them, they just feel bad when they see me needing to run away from the world; I think it's cos they feel badly for me, wishing they could help, that there was something they could do .. but there's not of course.

I don't want them to feel bad, that's not fair on them, they don't deserve that. Guess it just adds more guilt onto me too ... yep looks like it wont be until the following weekend.

See, part of the old Noala is still here ... one of the parts that I've learned is not always in my own best interest - the part that puts others ahead of me.