Good/Bad

Some people's first instinct, when another does something unexpected, is that they are doing something 'wrong'. I know a few people like this, thankfully not many.

e.g. I took a few hours off - said I was going out, or that I would be unavailable for a few hours. I received an SMS querying whether I was doing something, a something that would be considered 'wrong'. (I was actually at the zoo with my daughter - it being school holidays).

Me, I don't initially assume/think someone is doing something 'wrong', not unless I have a basis for thinking so (eg previous experience).

Why is it some people view others this way?

Someone else I interact with regularly thinks this way. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth when comments along these lines are passed to me; makes me disappointed in this person, that they think that way. It also makes me wonder what untrue thoughts are held of me, and seems to tell me I need to be careful with this person.

I guess it comes down to what your core belief is about other people. And I guess it means that my core belief is in the 'goodness' of people.

Perhaps the negative view *is* a better way to go - you get more pleasant surprises that way.

But I just can't seem to do it. It just doesn't even occur to me to think the worst of people as a first-off reaction. I am surprised when someone suggests a devious or nasty intent/behaviour, partly also because it wouldn't even occur to me to act that way, for no reason, myself.

It's just not how I 'work'. I guess that's another part of the old Noala that I can't shake, even after all I've been subjected to.

And that just brings me back to the dilemma I've mentioned before; the problem is I'm not a good judge (that's one lesson I've learned very well), I'm too far up the scale of thinking positively about others (or maybe, just not thinking negatively); but at least I *know* I am too naive in this area.

Though I've been shown, only too well, that others are not all 'good' (yeah, I hear you all going 'well duuhh!'), that basic belief of 'goodness' remains within me. I just know better now than to allow that belief to allow others to be in a position to hurt me, because I cannot determine between the good and the bad. I am as a child.

And so I don't invite anyone new into my world, nor venture where I might meet others who might want in.

Trust?
I think this is intertwined with trust somehow. If you're more likely to think of people as good/having good intentions surely you're more likely to trust them first off.

If you think of people as having bad intentions I can see how you would start off not trusting them at all; them having to get back up to neutral level of trust before moving into the positive.


Something for more Grey Matter Attention
Writing this down has brought some interesting thoughts about him and our interactions.