Sigh

Jumpy
Back to being 'jumpy' again - constantly checking the driveway cos of a noise that could be a car pulling up. I don't like being like this.

Round and Round and Round We Go ...
It is feeling very much like the big rollercoaster all over again. Him saying he is repentant, pulling at my heart strings, apologising for poor behaviour.

That little voice in the back of my brain is telling me that it's just the same thing over again; that when he is back with her again (which will surely happen) those thoughts will be so much dust in the wind.

I thought I'd handed back my ticket for this ride :(

Why can't he do what he kept telling me to do and just get on with his life?

Damn Perceptiveness...
It's so hard to see the things I predicted to have come into being; there's certainly no 'joy' in that. He seems to have learned very little - about people, and money.

Wary Wary
Am I simply being taken advantage of once again? It feels like that is the way it will go; it's the way it's gone so many times before. That 'kind' gene inside of me is too strong though, I can't kick a man when he's down, even one who has caused me so much grief.