What is Purient Interest?

This was going to be a response to a comment, but it got long so I'm posting it instead.

First, I have to ask the meaning of 'purient interest'? Looking in the dictionary it seems to relate to purity, but I somehow doubt that's what was meant?

Yes he still seems connected to me - else why is it me that is 'the only person' he feels he can come to in his moments of most desperate need?

Untrustworthy? I have to say yes - as I related in the post below this he admitted that he lied to me that prior time we met, in order to manipulate me/my feelings - how could I not think he is untrustworthy? Yet this is the eact opposite of what he is trying to demonstrate to her - it's no wonder to me that that is a losing battle; he doesn't see it that way though (that he has continued to prove his untrustworthiness).

I would prefer to not meet with him here at my house, but I'm not allowed to know where he lives (I guess he fears I will send the bailiff if I know his address), and the things we talk about aren't really suitable for a public place. By the time he calls me he is usually very close by, physically. Meeting at my house makes an 'escape route' rather difficult - mind you I do believe that if I asked him to leave he would do so.

A part of the prob is that I don't know whether I want to be connected to him; I am very ambivalent (which doesn't mean 'couldn't care', but 'can't decide') on that matter; it's a very complex question for me. So many things about it are scarey, but there still seems to be a part of me that wants to keep that connection alive :(

The reasons I think he reads the blog:
* to see what/whether I have written about him/them
* to see what I've written on the above so as to prepare for the excrement that will hit the fan when she has read it and how he can 'work around' that
* just to find out how I am (he said once, long ago, that even if I wasn't in his life in any shape or form that he would still need to know how I was)
* to get a glimpse of the life he once had, and misses
* maybe to try work out whether 'enough water has passed under the bridge' yet?
* to see what impact his actions are having on me (and when I think of that I mean him wanting to 'hurt' me - eg via the legal action)


Do I care that he reads it? I don't have a need for him to read it, I don't write it so that it is here for him to read. I think the only way in which I 'care' whether he reads it is in regards to any backlash that I may suffer as a result (which has happened quite a number of times). I don't particular 'care' whether reading it makes him feel any particular way, cos I don't write it with that intent. I would think that if I 'cared' about the fact that he reads it that I would be more 'careful' about what I write here; but I'm not.

Yes there are things that have not been written (in the old blog) specifically because I know that he (and she) reads it - they've been hidden elsewhere as I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of reading about some of the negative impacts his actions were having on me (pictures in my mind of him sitting there reading and gleefully grinning about the 'misfortunes'/troubles/frustrations he has caused me), and information that could have been 'useful' to him (in both a strategic and purely informational sense) in relation to the legal action.


The 'being party to the deception' issue at the bottom of the 'Curve Ball' post is still bothering me :(