The Purpose of My Life .. Maybe.

Often when I have pondered the purpose of my life I keep getting drawn back to 'helping peple'.

When I think back it has been a recurring role that I have played and popped/pops up in para-psychological tests (you know the type - Myers/Briggs personality type, team role lables. career quizzes, that kind of thing).

It is true of me, I do like to help people. That 'helping' can take many forms, it doesn't really seem to matter what form it takes.

I help my kids (in growing to become whatever they're going to become), I help my ex (with parenting and being an 'ear'), I help my friends where I can, I help my boss ... I don't do anything amazing, mind you, but I do help them.

I'm the kind of person who will help a stranger struggling with an armful of something trying to open a door. I'll pay the 10c that the person in front of me at the cash register is short.

Perhaps I should be just content with that; that mine is to be auxillary.

But somehow I'm not. Mostly, I think, because there will probably come the time when there is no-one for me to help. When the kids are grown and doing fine on their own, the day I retire from the workforce. Friends will still be there, and the occasional stranger who could do with a lending hand, but then what do I do; then what is my role? Maybe it's just the threat of empty nest syndrome, but considering it's something that has been there through my life (from before I had children) I don't think that's all there is to it.

I've thought about volunteering, but hearing of my mums experiences with it, and knowing that I really am a lazy bugger when it really comes down to it, I'm not sure that it's for me. Maybe that will change though.

Maybe then I'll just have to help myself. But I don't really know what that means.

grrr and there I was saying that I'd tried to give up on the navel gazing too much, oh well, failed again!