On Being Happy

This question has arisen for me again, thankfully it hasn't brought the funk that it sometimes does.

Am I Happy?
The question as stated is so broad that I find it difficult to answer. Hmm maybe that's a clue ... I haven't thought that way about the question before.

I have said, at other times I've written about this, that whilst I wasn't necessarily 'happy' with my life that this did not indicate that I was 'unhappy' with my life. To me the lack of happiness doesn't necessarily mean that there has to be unhappiness in its place.

At present how do I feel about my life? I still feel that it is a rather small and quiet one, and that that, in itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. It's not that I feel I should be going out/going places/meeting people (perhaps that last one is being fulfilled sufficiently already), in fact I feel that would make my life busier than I want it to be.

I wonder though, do I feel that just because I've become such a social sloth (ie rarely go out)?

I still feel that the majority of my time is taken up with fulfilling responsibilities, and that after those are done that there isn't a lot left to do.

Interestingly, I have been considering changing jobs - to one with *less* responsibility. Does this mean I am ready to free myself up a bit .... to do what, I wonder?

This then gets tied up/intertwined with the thinking about how I become more solid in 'who I am' ... what do I like, what do I like to do....? And those things still remain a bit of a mystery to me. Part of me feels as though I might be ready to start trying to work out some of those things, another part can't be bothered/likes the quiet small life!

There is no conclusion at this point. Perhaps just the fact that part of me thinks this might be a good thing to do is sufficient progress for now. It seems like progress from where I have been before.


I do feel happier within myself though, and the cause for that (ie why I feel happier) give me some cause for concern. I feel happier because of another (calm down everybody, I'm not talking about a partner/potential partner).

To me this seems somewhat dangerous. To me it seems that it is me who should 'make me happy', not as a result of what someone else might say or do. To me this is a sign that perhaps I am not yet sufficiently happy within myself as yet ... and then this gets back/intertwined with the being solid issue.

arrgghh round and round and round we go .... so many pathways, which way to go? Which way leads onwards instead of round and round.

The quote "follow the white rabbit" comes to mind for unknown reasons.

Looks like another case of 'more grey matter required'. Oh well.