Catharsis

I wanted to be where we had been, so I went to the cafe and had a coffee. I don't think it's a usual hangout for him, so I didn't expect that I might see him.

Standing in line to order my coffee I was trembling.

The booth where we last sat was taken so I sat on the balcony, where we had sat that first night we met face-to-face, in the sun, alone. I imagined his smiling face from that first meeting and tears were in my eyes.

Then I went to the park and I cried.

As I moved from sitting to laying on the blanket my body responses started up again and I found myself crying again. I just let it happen, lay there crying, not bothering to wipe the tears until they stopped.

Maybe I needed to do this, to let the emotions out so that they can leave me be. Maybe it will help the adrenalin levels go down.

Half of me wants to hold on to those emotions, the other part knows I should let them go.