Perhaps I should be devoiding myself of him, as I have made him do of me.

But no, I don't have a need to do that. I needed to make him do that so that he would not have me in his thoughts - so that he can concentrate on his partner and his relationship without distraction.

But for me, I have no other thing or person on which I should be concentrating, other than myself.

And so I have the luxury of being allowed to remember, to remember the feelings, the happiness and contentment that we both felt.

The feeling still flow in my body - found myself making soft little moaning sounds in the car on the way home yesterday as those feelings coursed through my body once again. Whilst I know there are those who would offer their 'services' to 'help' me get rid of this I wont do that - I wont use someone that way, and because these are someone elses' 'leftovers'.

It's the first day of Spring today, but there is no spring in my step, no feeling of spring inside me - it is another grey and raining day.

The weekend is forecast to be fine, so maybe I will get to garden.