Sweaty & Dating Sites Update & What If

Sweaty
Didn't sleep at all last night and was hot and sweaty all night (even though I was wearing a summer nightie as my usual PJs were still in the dryer) - it wasn't a warm night either. The cause - an email. I'm not complaining though.

Seems I am perhaps still 'infected' - I thought there was a possibility it had passed, maybe it never will, maybe there just hasn't been enough time yet.

Dating Sites Update
I am/have chatted to 4 men online as a result of being on the meeting people sites.

One not so good, one ok, another ok and interesting, another ... hmm well seems to be going quite well so far.

This after only a week - I'm surprised that it seems to be going so well.

What If Dilemna
The email of last night brought me to a dilemna point though - a 'what if' point. I am not waiting for him (proof is the dating site thing), I know that is the wrong thing to do - for me and for him (we both need to consider each other unavailable - not waiting in the wings for the other) BUT my emotional reaction to receiving the (very brief) email last night, and the subsequent non-sleeping night tells me that if he were to be available I would want to try. With him I know the spark and fire exists/has existed - I thought the fire had died down to just warm embers in the main, but last nights' experience tells me they could easily be fanned into flames again.

So what if I got together with someone from the dating site ... and there was no instant/quickly developed chemisty/spark but with whom I was willing to continue on with for a while to see if anything develops, and he were to appear on the scene, available.

I guess the answer is that I can't live my life based on a 'what if' - I understand the folly of that; it might never happen. If I find someone else with whom something might develop I will travel down that path.

If the 'what if' scenario comes into being I will think about what to do at that time.